I received a phone call yesterday around 3:40 pm. I recognized the first few digits of the number being from the area where my dad lived. I knew my dad was dead. I let the call go to voicemail.
A lawyer from blah blah blah law firm spoke loudly and abruptly on speakerphone. “There has been a family emergency,” she said briskly. “Please call me back as soon as possible.”
I knew there was no “emergency.” I knew my dad was dead. I also knew that someone was in the office with the lawyer; otherwise why put the call on speakerphone?
I called the lawyer back. In an upbeat tone she asked me how I was. “Fine,” I said curtly. There was silence. Then she proceeded to tell me in a hurried, dispassionate manner that my dad had died and the malignant narcissist sister was with her in her office.
“When?” I asked. “Last Wednesday,” She said. That was 9 days ago. “Why am I only finding out about this now?” I asked. The lawyer stumbled and fumbled and used the long weekend and burial arrangements as an excuse. Long weekend? He died on a Wednesday. And why did this twit proclaim there was a “family emergency”?? Obviously, my dad’s death was not being treated as an “emergency” if I was being told about it more than a week after it happened.
I asked the dingbat lawyer where he died and apparently he was taken to the hospital on August 31st and died that same day at 5:00pm. I was informed of his passing 9 days after he died. By a lawyer. Who had me on speakerphone so the malignant narcissist sister could get a sadistic power rush from hearing my reaction. There was no reaction. I predicted this would happen. But true to form the malignant narcissist was power tripping, controlling the narrative and spying on me. True to form the malignant narcissist sister/sociopath had planned the entire scenario. She was hoping for a reaction. That’s why she hired a lawyer with my dad’s money – so she could have a witness to her sick little drama.
I asked the lawyer if there was a funeral. There was a long pause – the malignant narcissist sister was feeding her lines. “No,” she eventually replied.
Interesting that there was no funeral when “burial arrangements” was one of the excuses used not to call the dead man’s daughter to let her know he was gone. The Liar, er Lawyer, contradicted herself right and left. She received another cue from the sociopath sister. “I know that you and “Linda” (not the MN sister’s real name) are kind of estranged..." "Pfft. Kind of estranged? I’m finding out about my dad’s death 9 days after it happened,” I replied. Long pause and more lines being fed to the Lawyer by the MN director. “He died peacefully,” she said.
Yeah right. That’s what they always say. And I call bullshit. I doubt he died peacefully. He was alone and terrified and he knew he was slipping away so he called an ambulance to take him to the hospital so he wouldn’t die alone. At least nurses attending to his needs and doctors and patients milling about would be less terrifying then facing death alone in a dark, dingy apartment.
The lawyer then went on about his estate and how it’s in the hands of a bank. She explained she is not an estate attorney and she called me as a favor to the sister. HA! The malignant narcissist sister wrote the script for this sick little scenario in advance and hired a lawyer to act a part and deliver her lines. PATHETIC. It was a premeditated psychological assault.
I have not shed a tear for my dad. I’ve been grieving his death for years. Three years ago the malignant narcissist sister shoved him in a dumpy, dismal old folks’ home and moved into his beautiful townhouse. She took possession of ALL his property and took control of his finances and proceeded to drain not only his bank accounts and the contents of his home, but his mind as well. She drained him hollow and filled him with herself and used him as an object to hurt me. He ceased to exist as a person. He was dead inside and channeling her. As soon as she had face-to-face access to him, the transformation occurred quickly. Prior to this, she did all her dirty work over the phone and her mind control over him had its limits.
Being a greedy, parasitic opportunist as soon as she had him locked-up in an oldies prison she swooped-in to hold his property and possessions hostage. She got it all. She even successfully poisoned his mind and destroyed our relationship with her unrelenting slime and malign campaign against me. But it didn’t stop there.
As soon as she had access to his finances, she cleaned out a line of credit I had held for 10 years and left me penniless. When my dad offered to help me financially in order to help me get a hip replacement, she put a stop to it. I can barely walk these days.
Did I mention the malignant narcissist sister has never had to work a day in her life because the poor baby had a hip replacement as a teen? Did I mention she is worth millions? Did I mention she had not bothered to see my dad in 8 years and only swooped in after she and her thug monkey kicked him out of his lovely home and put him in a tiny, cramped, dump. Did I mention she owns a mortgage free condo, AND my dad supported her in a second home (his townhouse) for 2 years while he rotted in that dump. Then he sold his townhouse. Who do you think got the money from the sale of that real estate?
Did I mention that I have been facing homelessness with a disability and chronic pain for the last few years, and if it weren’t for two good friends I would be homeless. I had to sell my car to survive and can’t walk more than a block without limping and experiencing extreme pain. Did I mention I was assaulted, left for dead on the street and lost my job because of it? The MN sister and dad knew all about this. Did I mention all members of this wealthy “family” got a sadistic thrill knowing that I had to endure the intense stress of worrying about my basic food-clothing-shelter-physicals needs?
So here’s the kicker. THIS is the epitome of a malignant narcissist/sociopath’s tell-tale behavior: At the end of the conversation, the dip shit lawyer who clearly didn’t possess an ounce of sympathy or compassion and was basically hired to lie and act as a mouth piece for a sociopath said, and I quote: “I know this is really hard…..So… “Linda” brought some information on grief counseling for you if you want it.”
“Pffft. No thanks. I’ll deal with my grief in my own way,” I said.
The hypocricy is staggering.
For YEARS, the evil malignant narcissist sister has been trying to drive me to suicide, a break-down or death and she wants to help me with my “grief” over my dead dad who she turned against me and kept me from seeing and then intentionally delayed telling me that he died. The dad who she systematically brainwashed, abused and exploited until there was nothing left of him.
THAT is the very definition of treachery.
And to all the cowardly relatives who didn’t call me – even if they wanted to – because they were obeying the orders of the malignant narcissist sister – Shame on you!
Acting Like It Didn't Happen
by Kathy Krajco
Acting like it didn't happen, and getting you to act like it didn't happen, is the most diabolical dirty trick in the narcissist's bag of dirty tricks.
If you don't, she will accuse you of "dredging up the past," which is a sin, you know, because you must "forgive and forget."
Even though the offender doesn't admit what she did. Let alone that it was wrong.
Neither does the offender show remorse. What for? since she neither admits that she did it nor that it was wrong. And if she isn't contrite, why should she refrain from doing it again?
Amend the damage she did? What damage? It didn't happen. Hey, even if she ruined your professional career by calumniating you all over town to paint a perfect picture of herself and call it you, she isn't required to repair any damage.
Does the offender offer you assurances that she will never do it again? Hah! Why SHOULD she?
Look again: She hasn't been required to admit what she did, let alone that anything she did was wrong. She isn't sorry/contrite. Quite the contrary: today she is happy as a lark, as though her rage yesterday relieved a bad case of constipation. She incurred no liability, so she pays no price (YOU pay the price for what she did) and isn't held accountable to make amends and repair the damages. So, why should the offender offer any guarantees that she won't do it again? Do WHAT again?
Bottom line: she did nothing wrong = she has every right to do it again. By forgiving the unforgivable, you gave her a carte blanche to.
And before holier-than-thous start regurgitating pious slogans and scripture at me, I challenge them to consult their own theologians on this matter. For, they agree with me 100%.
Notice what's missing there. All the elements of a thing called "repentance." It isn't strictly a religious term: it is just as essential in a secular context.
Without repentance on the part of the offender, there can be no reconciliation between the offender and offendee. A state of war/hostilities still exists, because the attacker attacked, and without assurances to the contrary, PRESUMABLY will attack again.
Hence the existing state of hostility.
What? You must treat someone you know is going to attack you as a friend? We TRUST friends. We must trust an enemy? You must tolerate an enemy in your home? You must be vulnerable to an enemy by allowing her into a close enough relationship with you so that she can get personal information about you? You must let her within arm's reach? Let's get real!
You are nuts if you don't keep that threat at bay and far away from you, deterring her by threatening hostile action in return if she ever crosses the line.
That's not only the only sane thing to do, it's in accordance with Natural Law, and it's your human right to self defense and self preservation and the pursuit of happiness.
Which just goes to show why honesty is the best policy, as the saying goes. By acting as if it didn't happen, you are acting out a lie. It DID happen. And you are not only lying about that, you are lying about the very nature of your relationship with the narcissist: you are portraying it as a friendly relationship when it is a hostile one, a predatory one in which you are the prey.
No sheep is stupid enough to associate with a wolf as though a state of peace exists between them, so why are people pressured to associate with a narcissistic abuser as though a state of peace exists between them? That's not only stupid and crazy, it's a lie in deed.
A forthright enemy, adversary, or opponent is respectable. A treacherous one = one who acts out a charade of being on friendly terms with you, is contemptible human sludge. This is the con artist, the snake in the grass, the parasite, the traitor = the malignant narcissist = the scum of the earth = the sister.
About My Book
My dad died the day before I published my book Breaking Free: A Way Out for Adult Children of Narcissists. Coincidence?
My dad died on August 31st and I published my book on September 1st. I posted advertising on my blog, but then discovered a fatal flaw in the book and pulled the advertising. It remained published, but it wasn’t until this week that it was ready to sell.
What’s weird is this book should have been published a month ago, but we experienced non-stop power issues that delayed everything. I joked that an evil force was at work trying to stop me from publishing the book and that my computer was possessed. One computer died, another computer constantly lost power at crucial moments in the process and needed to be held together with a metal clamp. Then there was a city wide black-out and hour long power outage after the book was finally uploaded for publishing.
Was there some supernatural force working against me? Who knows. All I know is that I believe in the “power” of this book. I believe that something very interesting and very exciting is going to happen with this book. It is what my intuition is telling me.
And my story isn’t over, so get ready for a sequel!
If you guys like the book be sure to recommend it and review it on Amazon.
Also, if you have any stories to share about the death of a parent please feel free to join in on the discussion. I’m a little numbed out right now on learning about my dad's death. I really feel nothing. Like I said, he ceased to exist once the evil malignant narcissist sister usurped his will. The last few years of his life were hell on earth. I hope he’s in a better place. I hope he's finally found peace. I guess anything is better than being sick, weak and vulnerable and being manipulated, controlled, abused and exploited and used as a weapon by a malignant narcissist.